Yesterday, I celebrated the best Valentines' Day I think I've ever had. It was nurturing, relaxing, luxurious, fun, and ended in a hot date...with a group of friends.
But there was something else. Over the weekend I saw for the first time, how shut down I've become. I wouldn't know me if I looked me in the face. So yesterday was the first day of getting to know me. Taking care of me. It was a lot of fun, and a little like falling in love. It was impulsive, decadent, interesting. I'm seeing so many ways that I shut down my impulses, which takes me away from my friends and family. I may still show up, but I'm not totally there. You know...the lights are on, but nobody's home.
Well, I've had enough. I'm home, and here to stay. I'm stepping out with my arms open wide to all the people and experiences I've been holding at arms length for so long. I'm vulnerable and strong at the same time.
This is a work in progress, and it's going to be fun work.