American Heritage definition of a bureaucrat: "An official who is rigidly devoted to the details of administrative procedure."
Douglas Adams' definition of a bureaucrat: "Vogons"
While the bureaucrats I've dealt with for the past two days have been very nice human beings (at least they looked human), they have also been very rigid. I really didn't realize how flabbergasted I've been about bureaucrats until this afternoon. Well, the real truth is I knew, I just didn't think about them much as I avoided them at all costs.
I now deal with the DMV online as much as I can. IRS? My accountant is my buffer. The only holdout has been the Social Security Administration. For 12 years now I've avoided dealing with them. I finally decided enough was enough. I *have* to change my Social Security Card back to my maiden name.
So yesterday I drove up to the local office with my paperwork, only to be told the copy of my divorce decree wasn't "official." I could have had an old work badge with my married name on it, and they would have accepted it, but not a photocopy of my divorce decree. Does that seem odd to anyone but me? Someone would go to the extent to fake a divorce decree with all that legal mumbo-jumbo, but they don't think someone would fake a work badge?
The solution, my friendly bureaucrat told me, is to have the state I divorced in send me a certified copy of the divorce decree. Sounds easy enough. However, you can't order them on line. You can't fax them in. You can't call and ask for a copy. You have to snail mail a request to them(which, by the way only requires that you fill in your relationship to the divorcee, but does NOT require proof that you are who you said you were) and $10 (in the form of a money order, not personal check or credit card), for which they'll take 6 to 10 weeks to process. Or, I can just go in to the office in person...hmm, not very helpful.
So last night I scowered my files and found a paper related to custody and child support with the official seal on it and took that in today. Turns out that the official seal on the child support document, combined with the unoffical copy of the divorce decree were sufficient. For my "new" name, all I had to do was show my driver's license. (A birth certificate, by the way, is not acceptible.)
While I remained calm and creative throughout this process, I remain puzzled. I understand that the rules are in place to help reduce fraud, but the alternatives available to me seemed to open quite a few possibilities for fraud. I would have the hardest time sitting in front of someone saying with a straight face that the divorce decree they have with both names in it is NOT an acceptible form of proof of name change, but an old badge from a previous job with the old name on it is. My mind does not work in bureaucratic patterns. I guess as I continue my job hunt, I'll have to rule out government jobs!
Wow, was chatting with a friend today who was gently ribbing me for not having posted in a while. Then I realized it's been a MONTH! Where does my time go?
Well: